Tagged!

I've never actually done this before but since I got all the time in the world, there's always the first for everything rightt? This should be a quick one coz I'm feeling a bit tired working today. I know I said I retired but I had to step in for today since the part-timers were on leave today. They went to the "Jom Masuk U" thingy at MITC. I didn't go but they said UTP pon ade! Now, I'm starting to miss UTP. Hhhmmm... Anyways, sesape tgh nak masuk U tu, pegilaaa. I think its going on during the weekend. For more info, please click HERE.


Eh lari topik plak kan. Sempat lagi promote. Haha. So, let's just go straight to the point. The tag I got is from nurainrose. Hehe


"Once you have been tagged,you are suppose to write a note, with 25 random thing, fact, habits or goal about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tag you, it's because I want to know more about you. Your cooperation is highly appreciated."


So here are the 25 random things about me! :)


1. My name is Nadiah binti Jamil. Yep. It's that short. Jangan terkejut. Sometimes people like to tease me because of this.


2. I'm the eldest, but most people usually think I'm either the youngest or in the middle. Nape ehh?


3. When I was younger, I was sooooo obsessed with WESTLIFE. Sume album pon beli. Sume lagu pon tauu. Its kinda embarassing to admit it now coz boybands are so LAME now. Eh, tapi dulu cool tau! Don't teaseee


4. Random fact: You know my car plate number, JKD ****. The meaning behind it is "Jamil Kena Dera" since he has to pay the monthly bill. Tapi nanti bile akak keje akak kena smbung kan kan kan? -____-


5. At home, I'm just called "Kakak". Sume org pon panggil tu. Most of my aunts, uncles, grandparents, my parents' friends pon. Haha. At school, I was just called Nadia and to certain people yang gedik, Dia. Aigoo ayu sangat. My nickname Naddy just started at UTP kutt. Its from an email I made. Dah taley gune dah emel tu, lupe passowrd. Hehe. The shortest nickname: D.


6. Mase baru-baru masok UTP tu, my weight was about 40kg. Skang dah 47kg! Naek 7kg duk UTP. So ssape yang rase die tu tiang, sile la pegi mapley stiap malam. Pastu balek tido la ehhh. Tayah ngade2 nak exercise. Haha. Sbb there was one sem, I was active playing netball, nmpk lagi keding dari biase -___- Tapi dun worryyy. Nmpk je. Hehe. 


7. I like the colour purple!!


8. I don't like cats. Haha. I don't hate them because hate is a veryy strong word but you won't find a cat in my home soon. Unless I'm married to someone who adores themmm. Hehe


9. Dulu mase mule2 masok UTP, sangat skemaa. Now?? ....Hancurrrr


10.  I seriously hate pacats! Or worms, or anything that is long and doesn't have legs and icky gooey. Ular acceptable lagi la kut. The first time kena gigit pacat was when I went on the Rekreasi camp for Co-cu UTP during first year first kut. Gile nanges menjerit2 suh orang cabutkan. Malu wehhhh. 


11. Saye baek. Angkat bakul sndiri sbb ringan sangat. Bile tipu berat sbb dosa kan? So maksudnye saye tak tipu. Haha


12. I am a good listener. But sometimes too good of a listener. Jadi cam emotional sponge. Sometimes je. Hehe. 


13. I prefer subjects that require memorizing. Bagi laa papepon yang kena baca. Boley score! Except BIOLOGY. I sucked at that. Haha. I LOVED History though. Teacher's pet kut dulu. Hehe. 


14. When I worked at my mom's cafe, I loved to do everything except taking orders and sending them. Saye pemaluuuu. Huk3


15. At school, saye budak yang paling baek. Urghh I hate thinking the fact that I was soooo budak baek mase kat skolah dulu. Tak rock langsungg


16. Suke bawak kete laju2. And suke hon orang if orang tu wat salahhh. Tapi laju saye selamat je :)


17. Okay starting to run out of random things to say about myself. Erm, I started blogging in 2006.


18. I'm currently hungry.


19. I like to drive so this means I like to travel. Setakat KL-Melaka tu ape ade hal kannn? Hehe. Tapi kekadang menyampah ngan orang yang tak reti drive dgn betol. Pk die je. Tak pasal2 kite plak accident kan. Ish2.


20. (tiru Zeema) Penah jatuh moto gakk. Mase tu kat tapak konvo 2008. Tak pena ade lesen moto and tak pena bawak moto, maka menggedik la nak try bawak moto Ide time tuu. Ide ajar la cane nak start, accelerate sume. Tapi bile dah boley gerak, baru sedar die tak ajar cane nak brake. Sooooo, tak reti nak stop. In the end, langgar meja2 kat tapak konvo tuu and moto tu jatuh on me. Naseb baek tade pape. Haha. Banyak saksi wehhhh. Malu3. Hehe


21. I like to play bowlinggg. Jum lawannn?


22. I'm the eldest cucu at my mom's side. So, I'm the first for everything. I'll be the first to graduate! At my dad's side tak sure lakk. Banyak je lagi tua. Hehe


23. Tak saba nak stat keje, though I know I'll regret saying that. Will really miss UTP. Huhu


24. I have a huge collection of bracelets! Selalu gile beliii. Tapi pakainye takk. Hehe. Ade bebrape je that I always wear.


25. Okeh dah abes dah. (Kire ke tak niii?)




Well, that was kinda hard. I wanna tag everyone that hasn't been tagged yet. Korang sume dah wat kann. Dak2 UTP je sume niii. Lemme tag my old schoolmate. Zila, sile buat tag nii! Tapi buat lepas dah siap design DC ko tuu :P

Insomnia

Gahhhh!!

I hate it when this happens. I can't freakin' sleep! And it's all my @#$%^& fault!

Dah tau betapa kuatnye kesan caffeine ke atas diri sendiri, pegi minum sebelum nak tidor wat ape haa?

Okay, technically, I wasn't drinking it before going to sleep. I drank it during dinner. Had dinner at OldTown with my family last night. And I drank my favourite drink, ice blended mocha. *drooling now* And it wasn't even pure coffee for crying out loud!!!!

Oh, the effect of caffeine is so strong on me -_- I've been doing the GLEE series marathon all morning. And now it's 4.30 am and I still can't sleep! I'm also feeling hungry now. Gahhhhh.

Lapar lapar lapar lapar lapar lapar lapar.

Lalalalalalapar!

Okay, serious da takde keje nih.

Can someone please sing me a lullaby until I go to sleep? Pretty please? With Kisses on TOP? Okay, I meant the chocolate. Not smooching.

Next time, I'm soooo not drinking caffeine before I sleep. I need to get a restraining order from them. Gahhhhh. T_T Someone should hit me in the head so hard 'til my eyes pop out if I want to drink another caffeine-infested drink before sleeping. -_-

Hard to Say No

It's always hard for me to say no. 

I always say yes.

I wish I can sometimes say no.

I wish I can.

Saya SANGAT innocent

Haaa. I'm sooo innocent. Don't believe me?


I just reformatted my laptop walaupon baru je format awal intern hari tu. Thanks Nawi *wink2. Lepas aku mintak ko format, sume nak mintak format kat ko. Ngahaha. Soriii ;)


Eh, lari topik pulak. You want to know why I had to format my lappy? Because I clicked on a !$%^&* SPAM.


Punye lah innocent fikir 'orang tersebut' btol2 nak mintak tolong.


*@#$%: I cant decide if i should make this photo my default. What do you think? Click on link.


So, I went on to click on that link.


Bongok tak? Rase nak dush dush dush je diri sendiri.


The minute I saved that !@$% virus in my laptop, it started to spread spam using my YM! and GTalk account.


You wanna know what BS nonsense it spammed?


naddy: I just got my lip pierced. Tell me what you think of the photo I took of it earlier. Click on link.


Sejak bile pulak aku pierce my lips? Nak kena kejar dengan mak aku dengan pisau ke? Gahaha


Mereka yang mendapat spam itu pulak sume buat2 tanya lak. Haha. Geram weh dengan diri sendiri. *Dush dush dush diri sendiri T_T


So,  after that stupid kejadian, I had to format my laptop. I was planning to upgrade my RAM, so alang alang pegi la upgrade sekali. I also bought the original anti-virus. Kaspersky. The 3-user ones. One for my laptop, one for the PC at home and one for... I don't know. Cepat cepat! 

Who wants to be my anti-virus buddy? 

I bought it for RM105 (I know I know. It's kinda expensive. It's more cheaper during PC Fair tapi nak wat cemane kan?). I'll sell the third ownership for RM30. Okay kan? Please please be lah my anti-virus buddy. Kite share share virus jum? Gahahaha. I'm really broke rite now. I spent RM300 on my laptop for the RAM, anti-virus and format service fee. I hope it isn't slow anymore. If tak, I baling and beli baru je nanti (macam ade duet plak).

Oh, about the spamming thing. I kinda got traumatized when people give links through gtalk now.

The other day, someone pm'ed me their blog link. And this is what happened.

*excerpt from chat 

!@#$%^&: blogspot link

naddy: ni spam ke?

!@#$%^&: tak. blog aku. =.='

naddy: (trauma tekan link.haha)

           smlm tekan jadi spam

           waaa

           nanti aku visit ye ;)

Tengok! Terus trauma. Jelas jelas tulis blogspot kut. Pegi fikir tu spam watape? T_T

Ayat last tu ayat nak sedapkan hati. Tapi betol. I really visited your blog. Hehe

Boredom

I'm seriously dying of boredom here. I don't know what to do. I'm currently up-to-date with all the series and now they are all on hiatus. Then does that mean I should go on a hiatus too? Waa. I think this internship period has reached up to its maximum point. It's just too long. It's like you're working but then not long enough to actually be considered as one. Erk. I don't get what I just said. This is just the boring in me talking.

My final presentation is settled so there is basically nothing much for me to aside from finishing my final report and logbooks. Thank god my logbook is always on track. Tak sanggup nak kejar kejar. Oh my final presentation went pretty well! Thanks to both of my supervisors. I was quite satisfied with it since I didn't even practice much or even memorized anything. I learnt that lesson with PCS. Tak paya hafal hafal. Nanti diri kat depan je terus lupe lirik. Haha.

Aaaaa. Bored. Me posting this post pon bored, blum lagi yang membaca kan? Sure bored baca. Wawawa. Whatever. Rasa nak pegi tengok wayang. Avatar jom? Gile desperate skang nih. My friends are not around. My mom is working on a Saturday, which is also coincidentally her birthday (Happy 45th!) and my dad is out playing golf. My brothers pula are out with their friends, leaving me alone at home. Gaahhh.

Dahla. Nak pegi jogging la. Gahahaha

*Please take note the time published and now it's raining. Gile ke nak jogging? Oh, me = jogging? Sangat tak logik. HAHA

serabut

sekarang tengah serabut. arrghh

takde kaitan dgn intern, mahupun presentation next week.

just serabut.

pening kepala and mimpi pon pelik pelik je nih.

can you please go away? pretty please, with sugar on top?

*singing*

trouble is a friend no matter where you go oh oh~

no matter if you're fast, no matter if you're slow oh oh~

*you is serabut

MALAS

Tak tau la knape. Patutnya, da nak habes intern, kena la start merajinkan diri kan? Try to gather as much knowledge as I can during the short period of time that is left. Ni tak. Bertambah malas lagi adelah. Tapi tak tau lah malas dari segi ape. Nak cakap logbook tak siap lagi, on track je. Sekarang tengah wat logbook bulan November (FYI, I have to send my logbooks on a monthly basis). I've done all the work my SV has asked me to do. In fact, I'll always try to get it done the same day. Tapi tipu la if I say I only do work kat ofis tu kan? Hee. Adelah jugak main main. *wink2* Tapi mostly main main kut. Haha.

To be honest, I was really excited during the starting of my internship. Getting a place at a refinery. Getting to wear the yellow-DIGI coverall. I always sunk my head into the P&IDs and operating manuals. Hafal baek punye la. But it only lasted at least 2 months. Now, I'm just plain bored. Too much hope given, but not granted. (Ayat macam baru putus cinta je. Haha) I go to work with this 'pasrah' face. Like I'm being forced to go. Tapi memang pon. Kalau tak pegi, fail la. Hee.

The second visit will be on the 16th this month, and I haven't even started on my slides. Eh, dah stat dah. First slide tu jela.

FINAL PRESENTATION FOR INDUSTRIAL TRAINING 

by Nadiah binti Jamil bla bla bla

So, starting from next week, I have to be serious. I have to go to work with a smile on my face (Padahal, tengah pilih satu hari nak ponteng next week. Haha. Oopsie :D). I have to start working on my slides. There's another trainee that just joined my department, so I can bully him. *Hihihi. Evil laugh wink2* (Gile overemphasize part tu). Okay, that's all. Update blog pon dah malas dah ni. This is like the first update in 2 weeks. Selalu, update cm hape je :D

Unfriendly

Urgggh!
Aku sangat tak paham ape masalah sesetengah orang nih.
Ape masalah ko eh? Kata kerja customer service, tapi melayan customer mcm hape je.
Kenapa nak marah-marah haa? Apa? Aku rampas boyfriend ko ke?
Orang tanya bukan main baik lagi.
Tanya ngan muka paling suci dan iklhas kat dunia dah ni, die pegi marah kite lak. Wat muke lak tu.
Klu ye pon tgh PMS, g la tampal notis kat dahi tu. 'Saya tengah PMS' atau kalau tak pon, 'Saye baru clash ngan boyfriend saya'. Baru lah orang paham kenapa kena layan cmtu. Aisshhhh.
Rase nak langgar je kaunter tu ngan kete! (Kejadian di stesen minyak)
Ni bukan the first time. Dah beberapa kali da mcm ni. Semua case customer-service related. Kalau tak suke melayan manusia sejagat a.k.a. UNFRIENDLY, saye sarankan, sila tukar kerja! Jadilah orang-orang di belakang tabir jela yeh.

Gerammmmmmmm.

Okay. Dah habis luahkan.

-End-

sLEepY

>Don’t sleep. Don’t sleep. Don’t sleep! Can’t somebody just pinch me right now? I don’t know why I have been feeling really sleepy these couple of days. I think I have enough sleep. I mean, sometimes I sleep at 11pm. If you follow UTP time, that’s really early. Anyways, I guess the reason I always feel sleepy is because I have to study all these materials. The P&IDs and PFDs are okay since they are quite interesting but when I have to read about heat transfer (again! Like it wasn’t enough studying it for one semester) and other boring reading stuff, I get really sleepy. I need coffee, I need Nescafe! Haha..

I played futsal last night and it was fun. The game ended a draw, like 11-11 or something like that. Kinda lost count considering the number of goals we scored. We played for about 1 hour and boy, it was tiring! At first I played in attacking role, but when I got tired of running up and down the field (sometimes I supported the defense), I changed positions with the keeper. You think being the keeper is easy? Huh! Think again. It doesn’t involve a lot of running but the saves are sometimes quite painful. One time, the ball hit my face. I lost count of how many times they kicked the ball and hit my ankles. But it was worth it. It was fun to let it all out once in awhile.

Now, there was a funny story last night. Some of us went for supper after the game at a nearby restaurant. While we were waiting for our food, we talked a bit and suddenly;

Friend 1: Eh, tu bukan artis ke tu?

(pandang ke arah sane)

Saye yg mmg kurang tahu psl celebrity tanah air: Mane2? Sape lak tuu??

Friend 2: Alaa, sape tah.. Aidit and Bell.

Saye yg mmg kurang tahu psl celebrity tanah air: Haa? Sape? Tak knl ponn..

Friend 3: Alaa, Bell Ngasri. Ngn Aidit Marcello..(kut)

Saye yg mmg kurang tahu psl celebrity tanah air: Oh, Bell Ngasri ke tu? Cm laen jee..(cube tgk muke)

(tetibe sorg abg pandang ke arah ktorg)

Abang-bajet-PR-pgg-kamera-SLR: Haa, adek2..nak amek gmbr ke? Meh la cni..

Kami: (muke blur) Errr…knape ttbe abg tu suh kte g sane tu?

Abang-bajet-PR-pgg-kamera-SLR: Meh la…Japg nk balek da nie..

Kami: …..

After they left, we were laughing our heads off. I mean, if we really wanted to take a picture with those freakin’ ‘famous’ celebrities, we would have jumped in an instance. There was no need to offer us to take pictures with them. OFFER US. Shouldn’t it be the other way round, like say… WE ASKED for the pictures? Gosh! What has the world become?

There’s still like 29 weeks and two days for the internship period to be over. There’s still a long way to go. One of the main reasons that I couldn’t wait for intern was so that I could run away from HIM. Yes, HIM. That’s one wish fulfilled.

P.S. I was looking at my side mirrors the whole time I was typing this post. Ngahahaha..

Yes, I’m a Trainee!

It has been a week since I started my intern, and boy, it’s tiring. Even if what I did was just sitting in the office all day and do nothing (I’m supposed to read some materials but it is just so boring that I fell asleep a couple of times. It feels like study week all over again. Aiyayay~). Well I did follow my colleagues to a meeting (which I didn’t understand one bit) near the plant site. But that was it.

Since this is officially my 2^nd week in the office, I’m compelled to write this post mostly because I’m getting used to this working environment. It is quite a laidback environment. You can go in and out of the office as you want (I always thought that you can only go out during lunch break) as long as you come at 8 and leave at 5 since there’s this card you have to swipe every time you enter the compound.

To tell you the truth, my supervisor is not around to boss me, give me tons of workloads and force me to work extra hours in the plant. I’m soooo looking forward to that! (This shows how bored I am) Luckily, his colleagues that are under the same department as me has given me a few reading materials for me to study. And it’s all about distillation. Distillation this, distillation that. I’ll probably die after hearing that words for 8 months. Haha. Please laugh with me. I’m trying to make a bad joke.

It’s just 10.45am. There’s still two hours and 15 minutes before lunch break. Oh, I have a new hobby. COUNTDOWNS. I have developed a passion of counting down, whether to lunch time or to the time to go home since it’s still early days in the office and there’s nothing to do. So let me just continue counting down, okay?

Moody

I wasn't in a very good mood yesterday. Thoughts of many things just crashed in my head and my brain malfunctioned for most of the day. I was really sensitive, my tears pouring down like heavy rain. I was feeling that way when I was writing the last post.

I was mad at him. I was sad because of him. My heart ached for what he did to me. I felt as if I was sitting there and clapping my hands to a silent sound; only my hand was doing the clapping. Not his. I would get excited about something and my immediate reaction is to tell him and there he is, not caring at all. But every time he tells me, I smile from end to end. I react as if it was the most funniest thing that happened or most weirdest thing or whatever it is. Sometimes, he would just move on to another topic and leave the previous one hanging, that is after hours and hours of leaving me hanging, waiting in the dark. I would be sad but acted like nothing happened.

But yesterday was just the pinnacle of all pinnacles. I just couldn't take it anymore. It was as if he was treating me like I'm a lifeless doll, like I didn't have feelings. So, I just lost it. I lost my mood. There was something else on my mind that was bothering me too but that was just sitting by the sidelines. He said he was sorry and I accepted his apology.

Then, he did it again. He started to care again. He started to say things that... I just don't know how to explain it. 'He's doing it again.' That's what I said to myself. All of this is just confusing me. Sometimes he cares, sometimes he doesn't. Can't he just make up his mind? Should I give this guy a chance? If I were to compare him to the other guys that tried to win me, he's losing. Quite bad. But he sure does win in other departments. I'm not gonna tell which. Hee~

For now, I'm happy the way this has turned out to be. I mean, he's trying to keep my feeling's in check. I just don't like the fact he's still playing with my feelings. What is it with guys?

Toodles.

Let Me Break Your Heart and Then Ask You If We Can Still Be Friends

I have been dying to write something in this blog for ages. I gotta admit it that the past few weeks have been a hectic one. That and the fact that I caught a flu/fever and had sore throats and brief dizziness. Next time, I'll definitely make sure I get enough rest and intake of food. huhu.

The other day, my friend and I were suddenly on a topic about recent people who somewhat left a scar in our life; and that that lead to him again. She asked me,"Why can't I just be friends again with him?" I keep talking about every stupid detail that has to do with every stupid encounter with every stupid thing that is related to him. The horror. It's not that I can't stop thinking of that stupid thing that I'm not supposed to think about. It's just that certain things make me think about it especially the stupidity of myself.

Now, my answer to her question is, I still want him to be my friend. But if I just go on with him like nothing happened, its like saying that what he did was right. That using me, betraying me and every single thing that he did that made me feel hurt was right. Sometimes, I think of him and I don't feel any sense of hatred towards him. Sometimes. Most of the time, it's not that way at all. I keep saying, "He's mean" 100 times a day. Sorry.

I don't know when I can forgive him for what he did. And I don't know anything that can make me forgive him. It's seems like an impossible thing to do. Maybe, it has to be done face to face. Maybe, I have to tell every single thoughts to him. Maybe, I have to cry in front of him until I can't cry no more. Hah. Stupid ideas. Stupid thoughts. One thing I know for sure now is, the road of forgiveness is still a long way to go.

The Return

I hate it. It's coming back again. Maybe because of all the pressure and the fact that I'm sleep-deprived for most of the week.

I keep seeing things that are in some way related to him especially his friends. That, I don't mind. It's the fact that they keep looking at me like I'm some guilty criminal. Emmm. Hello!!! Who was the lying, back-stabbing party here? Who started this whole thing in the first place? 70% of me regret even knowing him. And the funny thing is that I didn't even do anything. I didn't even in any way provoked him to know me. I'm sooo totally innocent.

"When are you gonna get over this?" A question my friend asked me the other day. That's one question that I don't know the answer to. In one way, I'm so over it. But I just can't accept the fact how stupid I was. One part of me wants to act like nothing happened; to just act normally with him. Like normal friends. HAHA. Very funny. How can you, right?

'I saw straight into him. I didn't recognise him anymore. Was he really the person I once knew?' I'm not sure whether what I saw was true. A collision occured but not even a sense of acknowledgement was given to the other party.

Lots of things remind me. Books that fall. Guys eating in huge groups. A rainy day. Even the way I walk. How I suck at Geography. The library. That whats-its-name football club. Food that fly. They remind me on occassions when I'm down, tired, not in the mood, feeling used again; you get the picture.

Maybe. Just maybe he didn't mean it. He said that he did't want to hurt me. Well, guess what? Mission not accomplished.